A New Beginning

On September 20, 1955, Wai Ying filed a petition for a Visa to travel to the United States. She was twenty years old at the time. Three days later, the petition was granted by the Consulate General of the United States of America and issued on January 10, 1956. The charge for the Visa was $3.50 USD. She would leave on a plane shortly thereafter to begin her new life in a new and strange country, where she was unfamiliar with both the customs and the language. Him Thoon and Wai Ying arrived in Seattle and she was quickly processed through immigration. They moved in with Tim's cousin Helen Wong and her husband Bill for a few months before finding a rental house in Oakland close to Tim's work and also to her father, Nging. Nging was working at the time for the Cathay Room. Tim chose the name "Lillian" for Wai Ying's American name and they began their life in America. Lillian became pregnant with their first son shortly after the move, but had no idea she was expecting until her father asked her if she was. She was under the misconception that American food was making her gain weight, even though she was eating less. On December 8th, 1956, she gave birth to Phillip. During this time, they lived very frugally, Tim was being paid $10 per day as a cook. Lillian had to hand wash their clothes and Phillip's diapers by boiling them in water, wringing them out by hand, and hanging them dry. At times, the only food item in the house was eggs. She didn't know how to speak English and compensated by using hand signals when she needed to interact with non-Chinese speaking people. She didn't know how to drive, and relied on her husband or her dad to take her shopping for essentials and to interpret for her. There was also a large population of Chinese people who spoke Toishan, and there was not a pressing need to learn English. In 1959, their second son, Peter, was born, and a daughter, Jennifer, followed in 1961. Life was incredibly busy for Lillian. She was taking care of three toddlers and keeping house for a growing family, all while trying to learn and acclimate into a new culture. Her father would eventually buy the house next door to Tim and Lillian, and made the move to bring Lillian's mother, sister, and brother to the United States. In 1961, Tim made the decision to move to Flagstaff, Arizona where he could be part owner of the Golden Star with his brother-in-law, Henry. Tim wanted make more money and they both wanted to own their own house someday. They knew that in Flagstaff, there would be more of a demand for Chinese food restaurants than Oakland, which was inundated with Chinese food restaurants on every corner. He packed up his family and made the long drive to Flagstaff in the heat of summer.

Making a Life in Flagstaff

They arrived in Flagstaff in August of 1961 and moved into a rental house on Elm Street near downtown Flagstaff. The town's Chinese community was very small and Lillian felt at a loss with not knowing the language. Eventually, she would meet Millie, a neighbor across the street, who would teach her how to speak English. Lillian was very intelligent, and quickly learned how to speak, write, and read English, as well as math calculations: addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication. She enrolled Phillip into kindergarten only to be told by his teacher that Phillip would have to learn how to speak English. She turned to Millie for help and Millie would teach her and her two sons English. When Tim made the decision to come forward as a "Paper Son," he filed papers for Lillian to become a naturalized citizen, and on July 3, 1962, she became an official citizen of the United States. In 1965, Lillian gave birth to another son, Larry, and Tim's desire to run his own business would lead him to the decision of opening up another Chinese food restaurant across town. He found an ad in the Phoenix newspaper for a restaurant lease located in Flagstaff next to the Best Western Pony Soldier Motel. The restaurant's name was the Afton House Restaurant. With Lillian's consent, he signed the lease and officially began his new restaurant, foregoing the usual names used for Chinese restaurants, and keeping the name the Afton House. In 1967, they purchased a lot and began building a new house, big enough to fit their growing family. In 1968, their last child and daughter, Beverly, was born. By this time, Tim's business was booming and Lillian's help was needed at the restaurant. She began as a hostess, but would eventually work in the back kitchen on the Chinese food side as a cook. She excelled in this position and would eventually become a faster and better cook than her husband. For her, some adjustments were difficult: communicating with physicians when her children were sick, speaking to their teachers when there were disciplinary issues, buying groceries and clothes with US dollars, and learning how to drive. However, she was intuitive, insightful, and patient; she soon mastered these skills. In other areas, her ability to adapt was amazing: she made friends quickly, she sewed her children clothes when money was tight, she was adept at cooking large amounts of food for her family everyday on a budget, and she kept an eye on all of her kids, making sure they did well in school and were happy. She was an extremely hard worker, waking up in the early hours of the morning to put chains on her car's tires so she could drive her children to school, climbing up on the roof of their two story house with Tim to shovel the snow off, as well as cooking and cleaning for her family every day. If Tim was the driving force behind the family's financial success, Lillian was the glue that kept the family together.

Finding Herself

Her parents, grandmother, sister, and brother soon joined them in Flagstaff after her dad accepted an offer from Tim to co-partner the Afton House. She would begin spending more time working at the restaurant, alternating between cooking and hostessing. All the cooks loved her as she was the only one that kept the kitchen spotlessly clean, and the waitresses loved her because she was more forgiving and gentle than Tim, who was known to have a fiery temper. It was not unusual for Tim to threaten his employees and customers with a cleaver if he wasn't pleased with them; his children were not exempt. She loved hostessing; she looked forward to being with the customers and dressing up. She was always well-dressed; she loved to shop and was into fashion. She once stated that she would rather buy clothes than eat. As her children grew older, she found more time on her hands to explore her hobbies. She found enjoyment in creating: growing vegetables (bok choy, zucchini, green beans, and other Chinese vegetables), growing flowers, baking, and sewing. She began taking community classes in flower arrangement and soon filled her house and her friends' and relatives' houses with beautiful creations.

Later in Life

After retirement, Lillian found it difficult to adjust to a life of leisure. She was a person who never stopped; she was always busy. Her children now had families of their own and Tim was content sitting in front of the television most of the day. She soon grew bored of the inactivity and began taking Tai Chi classes. She quickly made good friends in the class and excelled at the moves. Another instructor encouraged her to become a certified instructor, and a year after starting Tai Chi, she tested and was certified. She was constantly wanting to learn new skills, leading her to meet with a tutor to become a better English speaker and writer. Lillian was more hesitant than Tim when it came to using technology, but she soon learned how to use an iPad and an iPhone. She would always say she didn't know how to use the electronics, but then send her family texts attached with emoticons and photos.

Snapshots of Life in the US

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