Matchmakers

In early 1954, Yee Mei was contacted by a matchmaker while living in Hong Kong. She knew Mei had a granddaughter who was of marriageable age, and she had been commissioned by Yee Yok Kew to find a bride for her son, Him Thoon. Once Mei found out Him Thoon had already immigrated to America, she immediately agreed to speak with her granddaughter, Wai Ying. At the time, Him Thoon was still serving out his remaining time in the army and stationed in Korea, but was planning to travel to Hong Kong in May on a leave of absence. It was not love at first sight for Wai Ying. She thought he was unattractive with his army buzz haircut and missing teeth. However, he was tall and she wanted tall children, plus her favorite grandmother was entirely behind the match. For Him Thoon, it was love at first sight; Wai Ying was beautiful and she was known to be kind and gentle. A few days later, Him Thoon offered marriage and Wai Ying agreed. However, the marriage almost didn't take place due to Him Thoon's temper. He had taken her shopping to pick out items for their new household and she had taken too long choosing a piece of fabric. He lost his patience and yelled at her. Poor Wai Ying went home and told her grandmother that in no certain terms would she marry this man who was so volatile. Mei sat her granddaughter down and explained to her that this was the only man who could help her become an American. She told her that her son-in-law, Wai Ying's dad, was making plans to send for her mother, sister, and brother and bring them to the US. Because Wai Ying was no longer considered a minor, he would not be able to apply for immigration papers for her. After Wai Ying realized she would be the only one left in Hong Kong, she agreed to continue with the wedding plans.

Two Weddings

In May of 1954, Him Thoon and Wai Ying were married in his village of Nam On. They had only known each other for eleven days. All the villagers lined up to see the bride because of her beauty. The official marriage would have to take place at a later date, when he would be discharged from the army. He flew back to his overseas assignment in Korea three days after their wedding. Him Thoon's plan was to complete his active tour of duty and be shipped back to the States where he would be discharged from the army. In October 1954, he was honorably discharged from the army and began life as a civilian again. He worked for ten months, accumulating enough money to pay for the flight to bring Wai Ying back and start a new life with his wife. He flew to Hong Kong in early August of 1955 and they were remarried in an official ceremony at the Hong Kong Victoria's Registrar's Office on August 12th. Him Thoon's mother hosted a wedding celebration in the city and invited friends and relatives. Wai Ying wore a traditional American white wedding dress for the ceremony and a traditional Chinese Qun Kwa and Cheongsam for the reception. They were gifted with money and gold jewelry. They applied for and were granted a Visa to the United States for Wai Ying the following month. On January 29, 1956, they boarded the plane that would take them to America, and to a new life as husband and wife. They landed first in Seattle, Washington, and Wai Ying would be processed through the immigration and naturalization services before finally ending their journey in San Francisco.

Living the American Dream

Choosing American names was their first step in acclimating into the new culture. Changing their names from Him Thoon to Timothy and Wai Ying to Lillian was not an act renouncing their Chinese culture, it was a show of trying to fit in to a country they would now call home. Both Tim and Lillian became Americans, but they did so without losing their Asian roots. They balanced both cultures as well as they could, and taught their children to do the same. They were proud of being Americans and being Chinese. They also knew that to be successful, they had to work hard, make money, and spend wisely. All through his life, Tim would work sixteen hour days, six to seven days of the week. In the beginning, Lillian would take care of the household and the children, making sure the house was clean, food was on the table, and the children were happy and healthy. With the decision to own their own restaurant in Flagstaff, Lillian's help was needed in the business, and she juggled both work and home. They would move to Flagstaff in 1961 and call it home until their retirement. They purchased their first house in 1967, Tim taught Lillian how to drive, and they raised five children. Their business thrived, but they also knew when to relax. Every year, they would close the restaurant for two weeks, beginning the week of Thanksgiving. The first week, they would pack up the kids and the car and make the drive out to San Francisco to spend the holiday with Tim's cousins, Bill and Helen. Because of the luggage and all five kids in the car, Larry would inevitably have to spend the entire trip laying on the luggage in the back. The second week was spent doing a deep clean of the entire restaurant. Tim and his sons would scrub the kitchen from top to bottom and repaint the cement floors. Lillian would take down all of the curtains in both dining rooms and bar area, and clean the booths, tables, and chairs. Money was always tight and free time was limited in the early days of the restaurant, but Tim and Lillian always found time to take day trips to Phoenix with the kids to visit Metro Center, Lake Powell to fish, Winona to pick pinions, and Oak Creek Canyon to pick watercress.

The Golden Years

Tim and Lillian finally retired in 1996, having accomplished everything with the business that they had wanted. They were financially secure enough to enjoy the fruits of their hard work. Even though Lillian had a difficult time slowing down, they both eventually settled into a comfortable routine. Retirement allowed them to spend more time with their children and their growing brood of grandchildren, as well as spend time doing what they enjoyed doing. For Tim, it was football, mahjong, and stocks. For Lillian, she derived great enjoyment in spending time with friends, tai chi, and learning new skills. Tim still kept busy with household repairs and managing his two sets of apartments. Lillian would pick up crocheting again and baking. They began traveling more, mostly on cruises, or short vacations to see their children. They would eventually purchase a second home in Phoenix; they both thought it was a good base for family gatherings. The Phoenix house would host Christmas parties for the remaining years; both immediate families and extended families would join for a holiday potluck. As health issues began slowing Tim down, Lillian became his sole caretaker. She served him tirelessly; making sure to cook his favorite food, driving him to doctors' appointments, making him comfortable, essentially taking care of all of his needs. Tim liked to have her watch Chinese movies and soap operas with him, so she would sit on the couch next to his couch and watch tv at night after dinner was over. What started out as an arranged marriage would eventually become a love story.

Snapshots of Life Together

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